I had a handful of short dreams last night. One involved a get-together at our home. Although the feeling wasn't somber, I knew it wasn't simply a party. I think the only people there were relatives on my father's side, who were ambling around the living room and drinking cold tea out of paper cups. I was standing near the front door, which was opened onto a bright, cold, gray day.
I stood there, near the door, and was hugging Oma. She was dressed in a long, dark teal dress that shadowed itself and appeared black at times. Knowing full well that she had passed away two weeks ago, I held onto her body, which was still moving and responsive, for a long time. She stood there, hugging me back, and smiling blankly. As I held her, I knew it wasn't truly her, that she was gone, but I couldn't stop. A knock at the door broke the scene, and I let go of Oma and saw a friend, Jen, at the door. She watched as I walked away from Oma and went to greet her.
Her eyes wide and worried, she asked who it was I was just hugging, because she knew full well that my grandmother had recently passed away. "She is gone, yes," I replied. I smiled sadly at the concerned look on her face and closed the door.
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Another dream began on a deserted, dirty street. It was a bright day, although there was nothing to see besides a sandy road and one large building a ways ahead. I was parked in my green car on the side of the road, and sat in the driver's seat with my mother in the passenger seat. We sat there, I think, having just finished a conversation, and ate small pieces of food quietly. Out the window, I noticed a few large, white birds flying around.
"Look at those birds, mama," I said, nodding at the windshield.
Looking not up at the birds, but over at me, she said, "I think it is so wonderful that you're finally able to see things outside of your own self."
I smiled, unhurt by her words, but knowing I had reached that point, as well.
We watched as more birds came, and they began to fly in a large, pulsing circle around our car. I could see the scene from afar, and the group contained hundreds and hundreds of birds, the swirling congregation growing all the time. From within the car, I watched through the rear-view mirror as the view followed a single bird that was flying around us. I could see half of his face in the mirror, and after a minute, he looked towards me. When we locked eyes, his pupil began to swell and I could see anger pass over his face. Then I woke up.
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I was standing outside of my front door. It was night-time, and Gabriel and Amara were the only ones home. They were playing in the basement, but the rest of the house was dark. As I went to open the front door, I noticed a brown bat fluttering around over my head. I think he was attracted to the porch light, but I tried to shoo him away. Keeping the door closed, I waited for him to fly off, afraid he would get inside if I opened the door. As I watched the bat fly around madly, I noticed a man walking up the street. Although there was nothing threatening about him, I let go of the door handle and hurried through the carport, into the backyard.
As I made my way past the deck in the backyard, I noticed a friend was with me. I went to the other side of the yard, watching the gate for activity. The man had followed, and was in the carport with two other people (a bedraggled woman and a small, angry child). I saw him pick up my father's giant hammer and throw it with incredible force over the gate and at me. I dodged it, crouching down and attempting to hide behind the deck's fencing.
I could still watch what was going on from this position, and watched as he lit a match, placed it to the end of a gigantic, silver-barreled shotgun, and aim it at me. Suddenly losing my fear, I jumped up and ran across the yard. Halfway through, the bullet, as big as a walnut and tracing through the air rather slowly with a bluish, purple tail, caught me on the left side of my lower stomach. I could feel the sting of the large bullet enter into me, and could see as a clean, two inch hole burned its way inside. I clutched myself, but wasn't at all weakened by the pain. I went for the hammer, which was still sitting in the grass, and ran powerfully at the man. I could see him recoil in slight surprise, but didn't slow down my attack. I took the hammer to the side of his head, and the scene went dark with the pieces that flew out of the other side of his temple.
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